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sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment’s pause. The only things in the kitchen
that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on
the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
‘Please would you tell me,’ said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, ‘why
your cat grins like that?’
‘It’s a Cheshire cat,’ said the Duchess, ‘and that’s why. Pig!’
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
‘I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know
that cats COULD grin.’
‘They all can,’ said the Duchess; ‘and most of ‘em do.’
‘I don’t know of any that do,’ Alice said very politely, feeling quite
pleased to have got into a conversation.
‘You don’t know much,’ said the Duchess; ‘and that’s a fact.’
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would
be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she
was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the
fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a
shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of
them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already,
that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
‘Oh, PLEASE mind what you’re doing!’ cried Alice, jumping up and down in
an agony of terror. ‘Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose’; as an unusually
large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
‘If everybody minded their own business,’ the Duchess said in a hoarse
growl, ‘the world would go round a deal faster than it does.’
‘Which would NOT be an advantage,’ said Alice, who felt very glad to get
an opportunity of showing off a little of her know